Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
