when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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