Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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