i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
high people should be assigned attendants
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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