Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you traded sex for a burrito?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
