whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
