I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
