We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
