There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's just like the Real World with babies
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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