worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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