so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
