The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
