Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
vagina is talking i cant
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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