i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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