he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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