If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
