Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I had to cum in my sink.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
