LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
