my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
