so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
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