You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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