In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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