I wish I could punch you in the face.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
