i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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