apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
