he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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