why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
