he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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