too bad you live with your parents still
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize