Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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