This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
