Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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