There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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