Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
soo... how was my night?
its liver damage thursday
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
