I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize