Whatcha textin bout Willis?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
