sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
