she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
NoShamevember. You game?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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