turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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