He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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