I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
