Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
