so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
