So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
