i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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