The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I wish there were birth control emojis
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
