it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We had sex on a dog bed..
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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