Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
