three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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