i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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