you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
you never un-have a 4some
I have already put on my inside pants.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
