If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
