I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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