i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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