I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
