Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
