Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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