Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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