i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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