Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
