dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
