I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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