So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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