love makes seman taste better
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
